Gruff Thy Name Is Ojiisan

Last night I had an odd experience on the way home, and thought I should relate it here. As I got on the crowded train home I was just finishing up a conversation with Kuniko. Usually we message each other, but for some reason this time we were talking on the phone. As I wrapped up the call, and just as the doors of the train began to shut, an old man yelled at me. I wasn’t sure what he was saying because I was finishing up with Kuniko, but everybody in the train looked at him. Once I hung up I asked what was the problem, and he repeated himself, and as far as I could tell he wanted me to watch my manners and not speak on the phone while on the train.

It was a perfectly valid request, because speaking on phones on the train is considered a bit rude, and I knew during the call that I’d have to wrap it up quickly and also I should speak in a lower voice. So I can see why he might have gotten upset, but in reality there was plenty of other “rude” behavior going on around us that he could have yelled about. Because I stand out and because he may have been a little grouchy today he decided to make a big scene on the train.

As for me, I just smiled at him and did my very best to keep my mood perfectly normal. Inside, I was picturing all the situations where I could get even, embarrass him in front of the other passengers, or say something witty as he got off the train. It was surprising how many scenarios went through my head before I noticed that other passengers were still giving him dirty looks now and then. So I decided to put all thoughts of revenge aside, and just concentrate on getting home without bothering anybody… you know, like a Japanese person probably would.

There were no more problems on the train ride home, and as luck would have it the old guy got off at my stop, and it took quite a bit of self-control not to “accidentally” step on his shoe as he got off the train and climbed up the stairs. I awarded myself a mental medal of valor for that one. The fact of the matter was that everyone was watching how I reacted, and I don’t think I could have made much of a positive impression by doing something clever to the old man – in the end I would have looked like just as much of an asshole as he looked. So the other cheek was turned, but it turned out to be a lot harder than I thought it would be.


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