This morning Kuniko and I put on our best clothes and drove out to her uncle’s house to hold a ceremony to remember her grandfather, who passed away two years ago.
Kuniko’s dad invited us to come along, and I thought it might be a good way to see a ceremony that most foreigners don’t get a chance to observe. Better yet, I could see it as a member of the family.
When we got there, we walked in and sat down in the room that was somewhat dedicated to a memorial shrine. We had pillows to sit on, and we watched as a priest that looked remarkably like Marlon Brando in “Apocalypse Now” smoked cigarettes and chatted amiably with the older folks around him.
He started the ceremony by explaining what was going to happen, and as he was doing that his cell phone rang. He hurried to grab it and even looked briefly at who it was before closing it again. Not two minutes later it rang again. Come on man – you are performing a sacred memorial ritual – turn off the phone.
From there he sat in front of the shrine and started reading a sutra. They passed out little books for us to follow along – and it even had little cheater characters to help kids and Americans figure it out.
After almost thirty (30!) minutes of chanting we passed along a small burning incense container. Everyone prayed, took a pinch of incense and burned it, and then prayed again. I had some borrowed prayer beads from Kuniko’s dad, and I think it went pretty smoothly. One thing that I thought was interesting was the financial offering that everyone had brought. The money was to offset the cost of the priest, the food, the bus to take them to lunch, etc. The priest read each name to the altar, as if letting the deceased know who had paid (and who didn’t!). That was an intersection of money and religion that creeped me out a little.
From there we had a cup of tea and some snacks, and then walked out to the family gravesite. It was my second visit, and we lit more incense and washed the gravestone. Then, we were done. I chatted a little bit with the priest. He was a nice enough guy, and he spoke in clear, easy Japanese so it was easy for me to understand.
I got a chance to meet some of Kuniko’s other relatives – uncles, aunts, etc. There were a lot of older people at the ceremony – not many young folks. It was nice to meet them and they seemed like nice enough people. They are not really close to Kuniko and her sister, so we don’t often have a chance to say hello.
After getting back from the gravesite, everyone else was going to lunch. We were heading back, but before we left they gave us a portion of the offerings that everyone had left on the altar. We brought home a big set of bath soaps, lots of fruits and little cakes, and several boxes of rice crackers.
In the afternoon we did some Christmas shopping at Ito Yokado, and then took a nice long nap. Now we’re getting ready to have some udon noodles for dinner and do some last minute cleaning before the week starts.
I’ve got an easy couple of weeks ahead. These are the classes that don’t matter – and rather than doing lessons for my first years the teachers want them to work on their winter vacation homework in their classrooms. That frees up my schedule – a lot. I have only two classes over the next two weeks. Nice!
